Ha, one of those moments when I do feel fine. There's no drama.
I dont feel thin, but thats ok. I dont feel excited about anything, but thats ok. I feel like crying, but thats ok. I feel like vomiting, but tahts ok. I feel alone, but thats ok. I feel useless, but thats ok.
Its ok. I am grateful for being aware of all this. It doesnt happen that often that I really feel anything, I usually throw it out into the toilet, whatever is happening in my body, before I recognize the feeling, but today, i am calm.
I feel connected with my inner self. Its weak connection though, but thats ok. Its not deep, its not too alive, but I am aware of being on the planet at the moment. I am aware of my breathing. I hear myself breath. I am aware of my power. I am aware of trees outside and my dog beside me. I hear my voice. I hear my step. Its almost like Im counting my blessings.
(written later)
went out, for a walk but cant walk my legs are aching, so went to my favorite spot, its a meadow surrounded by forest and mountains, a bit away from the chaos and I can tell also the air over there is totally different. I had my dog with, I played with her and after a while i set down and I jsut existed. sun was warming my soul up and I was free. free from selfhate, free from struggles, free from people. my head was empty and my heart was opened. I closed my eyes and thanked life for the moment of now. nothing was important...no bulimia, no stress, no worries... nothing, just me and life. that simple. felt peaceful. I was peace. I thanked life for my boyfriend, send some prayers to the Universe for my african children, for my adopted boy and for children I work with..send some prayers for the world, asked for peace. Nothing else mattered.
Birds. Trees. Water. Air. Me. Life. All good. my life is good. I know it is. I have my mission in this life time, my soul has things to do, my life has a purpose, bulimia is piece of it. power of choice. choose to live good.
these days have been hearing a quote in my mind a lot, saying: "if you wanna be happy, BE!" exactly. It is in your power.
My life is good. life itsself is good, life itsself is a luxury everyone can afford, no matter what the skin color is, or nationality, belief or religion... infront of the Universe we are all the same. we all got life as a bonus! its all the matter of the energy we send into the circulation...
LIFE.
LIFE aint just breathing, eating, sleeping, walking and working. life isnt about working at all, life is about accomplishing our blessing into beautiful mission. LIFE is NOW, NOW everything is just as perfect as it is suppose to be. Now, life is the nicest that can get in this moment. life indeed is a luxury, dont get another spoiled kids growing up with too much of everything-Respect and understand each moment that is given to you, it is given you with a reason. and understanding this, its winning a lottery.
I dont feel thin, but thats ok. I dont feel excited about anything, but thats ok. I feel like crying, but thats ok. I feel like vomiting, but tahts ok. I feel alone, but thats ok. I feel useless, but thats ok.
Its ok. I am grateful for being aware of all this. It doesnt happen that often that I really feel anything, I usually throw it out into the toilet, whatever is happening in my body, before I recognize the feeling, but today, i am calm.
I feel connected with my inner self. Its weak connection though, but thats ok. Its not deep, its not too alive, but I am aware of being on the planet at the moment. I am aware of my breathing. I hear myself breath. I am aware of my power. I am aware of trees outside and my dog beside me. I hear my voice. I hear my step. Its almost like Im counting my blessings.
(written later)
went out, for a walk but cant walk my legs are aching, so went to my favorite spot, its a meadow surrounded by forest and mountains, a bit away from the chaos and I can tell also the air over there is totally different. I had my dog with, I played with her and after a while i set down and I jsut existed. sun was warming my soul up and I was free. free from selfhate, free from struggles, free from people. my head was empty and my heart was opened. I closed my eyes and thanked life for the moment of now. nothing was important...no bulimia, no stress, no worries... nothing, just me and life. that simple. felt peaceful. I was peace. I thanked life for my boyfriend, send some prayers to the Universe for my african children, for my adopted boy and for children I work with..send some prayers for the world, asked for peace. Nothing else mattered.
Birds. Trees. Water. Air. Me. Life. All good. my life is good. I know it is. I have my mission in this life time, my soul has things to do, my life has a purpose, bulimia is piece of it. power of choice. choose to live good.
these days have been hearing a quote in my mind a lot, saying: "if you wanna be happy, BE!" exactly. It is in your power.
My life is good. life itsself is good, life itsself is a luxury everyone can afford, no matter what the skin color is, or nationality, belief or religion... infront of the Universe we are all the same. we all got life as a bonus! its all the matter of the energy we send into the circulation...
LIFE.
LIFE aint just breathing, eating, sleeping, walking and working. life isnt about working at all, life is about accomplishing our blessing into beautiful mission. LIFE is NOW, NOW everything is just as perfect as it is suppose to be. Now, life is the nicest that can get in this moment. life indeed is a luxury, dont get another spoiled kids growing up with too much of everything-Respect and understand each moment that is given to you, it is given you with a reason. and understanding this, its winning a lottery.
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