RAINBOW!!!
I see colors!!!!!
What a change!
Made it back home yesterday and woke up happy today!
Its amazing how free I feel in my home. things are just much simpler, I dont bother myself with little things that actually dont matter much in life, all that matters is peace within, and I have found my peace.
I can feel the morning, I love morning smell and sounds of birds, I love fresh air and chilled air.
I am with my own self and I control my life.
I see clearly what I want and who I am, and yah, today, I like it. I like myself and my artist nature. My spirit is free and I live life to the fullest.
I think, once you face such a disaster like eating disorder is and once you literally fight for your life, the only way to survive is you learn what is important and what not.
It doesnt matter what people think about you, it doesnt matter if its Monday or Wednesday, It doesnt matter is you had shower or not and it doesnt matter in you wear make up or not.
It doesnt matter if it rains or if its sunny, only matters that you have learned something and that you are wiser than you were yesterday. It is important to grow with every day and be aware, that life doesnt hate you.
Only peace within counts.
I tell you, it can be perfect warm day, you can wear make up and people can think only nice things about you, but if you are not calm inside, is like you arent alive.
I know that.
I live it everyday.
But bright moments like these two days are worth more than a box full of gold.
No-one's respect is as worth as your self respect and no sun shins as strong as your own in your heart.
There's no such thing as your personal freedom. No such beauty as beauty you see in the mirror.
There's no such love as love for your self and no such inspiration as inspiring love you produce.
and there 's no such melody as sound of your own laugh, free laugh when you understand life.
There's no such Thank you! as when you thank God for your life.
And there's no such fear as fear you might be a failure!!
I have come so close to reality in these two days, I can taste a juice of sweet life. Moment is all that matters and you can create a perfect moment. you can.
In a case you are dealing with mental issues, it might take some time and hard work, but at the end, you are able to laugh, spread your arms, look in the sky and say Thank you!
I might not feel this way anymore maybe tomorrow, maybe later today, maybe next monday, but NOW, now I feel hopeful and life makes sense. Myself makes sense! I make sense.
Faith.
Faith in life and faith in better tomorrow.
Faith I never lost.
I am always afraid to feel anything good like this, because usually I pay big price for good mood, but "do your practice and all is coming" they say, aye! but now I feel the strength....well, there is one thing that can always take it away in a second..its called: my family! I always promise myself I will be strong, this time I will really be strong, but I always fail tho. also today, I made a promise, I will be strong and will follow my own needs and wishes....I might fail, which runs fear in my bones, but NOW grass is green, sky is blue, faith is pink and joy is purple.
I see colors.
I see colors!!!!!
What a change!
Made it back home yesterday and woke up happy today!
Its amazing how free I feel in my home. things are just much simpler, I dont bother myself with little things that actually dont matter much in life, all that matters is peace within, and I have found my peace.
I can feel the morning, I love morning smell and sounds of birds, I love fresh air and chilled air.
I am with my own self and I control my life.
I see clearly what I want and who I am, and yah, today, I like it. I like myself and my artist nature. My spirit is free and I live life to the fullest.
I think, once you face such a disaster like eating disorder is and once you literally fight for your life, the only way to survive is you learn what is important and what not.
It doesnt matter what people think about you, it doesnt matter if its Monday or Wednesday, It doesnt matter is you had shower or not and it doesnt matter in you wear make up or not.
It doesnt matter if it rains or if its sunny, only matters that you have learned something and that you are wiser than you were yesterday. It is important to grow with every day and be aware, that life doesnt hate you.
Only peace within counts.
I tell you, it can be perfect warm day, you can wear make up and people can think only nice things about you, but if you are not calm inside, is like you arent alive.
I know that.
I live it everyday.
But bright moments like these two days are worth more than a box full of gold.
No-one's respect is as worth as your self respect and no sun shins as strong as your own in your heart.
There's no such thing as your personal freedom. No such beauty as beauty you see in the mirror.
There's no such love as love for your self and no such inspiration as inspiring love you produce.
and there 's no such melody as sound of your own laugh, free laugh when you understand life.
There's no such Thank you! as when you thank God for your life.
And there's no such fear as fear you might be a failure!!
I have come so close to reality in these two days, I can taste a juice of sweet life. Moment is all that matters and you can create a perfect moment. you can.
In a case you are dealing with mental issues, it might take some time and hard work, but at the end, you are able to laugh, spread your arms, look in the sky and say Thank you!
I might not feel this way anymore maybe tomorrow, maybe later today, maybe next monday, but NOW, now I feel hopeful and life makes sense. Myself makes sense! I make sense.
Faith.
Faith in life and faith in better tomorrow.
Faith I never lost.
I am always afraid to feel anything good like this, because usually I pay big price for good mood, but "do your practice and all is coming" they say, aye! but now I feel the strength....well, there is one thing that can always take it away in a second..its called: my family! I always promise myself I will be strong, this time I will really be strong, but I always fail tho. also today, I made a promise, I will be strong and will follow my own needs and wishes....I might fail, which runs fear in my bones, but NOW grass is green, sky is blue, faith is pink and joy is purple.
I see colors.
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