LIFE!

Somehow I made it to the crossroad and my life took totally another direction!!
I am so excited to see what it will come up with.

Had a girl over for a visit, that now I can call a friend, and my life changed.
Amazing part of it is we met in Korea and spent quite short time together, she was traveling from australia and I traveled from New Zealand. Travel freaks we aim for one goal: next destination!
And so I invited her to come visit me in slovenia, she said she will and so how we became friends on facebook.
One day she asked me if I am free such and such weekend and I said yes.
Big part of me didnt believe we will get together, if nothing else, I will cancel a meeting.
I remember a moment when I met her, she was so bohemic and type of people that get my attention straight away... my people, gypsies!
Her style was free and her energy was just so strong, I felt like a shit infront of her. but next morning she joined me and Dave, who I also met in Korea, for breakfast. we were talking hours and hours and more I got to know her, more I liked her and I remember telling myself: oh if only I was like her. Everyone must love her and she must have an amazingly free life. she was one of those people that I find interesting, and not many of them get my attention. I felt like a little pussy, zero comparing to her.
Next day we took different directions and no-one knew if we will hear again.
When made it home, we added eachother on a facebook and kept intouch on weekly bases. At that point, I was connected to Dave more, as we shared bigger life stories during a lunch together. We were surprised we both are junkies. well, he has been clean now for 5 years and I am still on a rehab. He was addicted to drugs. He also traveled from oz, he has daughter in Sydney. Actually all three of us met with strange stories, we werent everyday traveler.

days before she came, I felt odd and didnt know whether I am excited about seeing her or not. three days seemed so long at that point but closer to the due day, I got more and more excited because all seemed like I will not cancel the meeting.
And so she arrived, I picked her up at the airport. Loved the way she looked, her amazing black dress, her hair and her attitude.
From minute one on, we never got quite. Shared life stories and had a lot a lot of fun together. I felt like we know eachother for ages.
I dont remember last time feeling that way. i was so soooo alive and life was real.
I felt how my body is getting re-filled with the most beautiful energy, my mind was getting re-inspired and my life was changing. I felt it strong!!
LIFE!
I thought!! oh my.
Life is something so big.
Look at that.....
in the middle of the world I crashed into a girl taht i found so interesting and that very much the same girl is now in my apartment, sharing her joy with me, her stories and her life.
I just opened my self up and so did she.
Constantly she was saying how beautiful person I am and at one point she said: "look at you. when one sees you for a first time would never believe you have such issues to deal with regarding to your energy, but you went trough cancer, recovering from bulimia and look at you, you do all with that big smile on your face and with such a great attitude!! Amazing. Not many can do that!!"
I still cant absorb those words and still feel odd, but would lie if I said I am not thinking about her words.
Looking at her, somehow she reminded me of myself, but i loved her personality.
Then I thought....who you hang out with is who you are. and people in your life are reflex of your thoughts and of your actions. of your life and of your self, actually!

That is me.
I am one of those people.
I understand life and things make sense. Amazing!!!
I am feeling fulfilled!!
I am having that strong believe that certain people come into your life with certain purpose and the power of karma is just amazing thing.
I must had been a good person before so I am living this way now.

It is so easy. random things are things that make life interesting and that make sense.
Need to be brave and free. you chose. it is all the matter of your choices and all is in your power.
If you are miserable, change it, you can.
IN any moment, you can take another direction.
Choose!!!

There is life out there! I see now there are still people that inspire me and make me grow. There are still people interesting enough to me. Out there, behind the border, there is life  I love and life I understand. Life, I belong to!

Life indeed is the most amazing thing that will ever happen to you! at least its the best thing that happened to me!
I am loved and I love, I am inspired and I inspire, I am encouraged and I encourage!
Bulimia is just another great thing that happened to me.
Without bulimia, i wouldnt be who I am, and with no me the way I am and have always been, my life wouldnt be as great as it is now, of that I am sure because at this point, I am happy!

It is amazing to see myself getting better and it is amazing to see myself waking up!
Feeling and be!

At the end of the day, I am better than i was yesterday and a day before.
I am better person than I was.
I am leaving the option I am not the ugliest and lamest person open.
I am not!

I can live and people like me!
yes they do.
It is me who let the door open or who build walls.
I am breaking the walls down.

LIFE!I love you! And thank you for loving me back!! ♥