Have to leave for good!!!

I have to leave my parents nest. I must!
I do bad things here.
Very bad!
It is slowing me down from my recovering and I dont like it.
It is very very bad environment here. I get the worst I can ever get. It is so disguising.
Here, I have reason to hate myself, as I really am not a good person.
bad, very bad I am!!
Never told the whole truth, probably never will, but guilt is awful.
I have to leave this place.
Never come back. So not good for me..
Makes me an awful person.
It is not my fault.
With my family around, I lose myself, get the worse, get a bitch, with nasty thoughts and deeds.
My bulimia comes out no matter how good I have been feeling days/weeks before.
Its always here. Always.
I cant sleep, I have terrible nightmares, bulimia calls me FAT, im losing me teeth in my dreams, I am covered with my own shit, I stink and I am ready to leave the Earth  because Im too disgust to exist. I am a shame for the society, I am a shame for human beings.

I have to find the way to forgive my self and move on!
No matter if I do good work, it is all meaningless with my dark side!
Help me.
God. Universe. Whoever can forgive me and give me strength, please. I am ready to stop being disguising person.