I am in a need of spending time alone, placing things into places, rest, sleep, and keep in quietness, hang out when feeling like hanging out, making my own choices...
and so my choice of the day was to stay inside, have a nap, watch a movie and practice some yoga. i woke up pretty empty, grumy and off place, not feeling anything, so here we go...nap might help.
a phone call woke me up from my not that happy nap, it was my father. i answered the phone and he sounded pretty good, then he asked me about my plans and i couldnt give him an answer so his mood changed. and when he asked me if i am going to come to thheir place and again, i couldnt give him the answer, he changed his voice even more and with annoyed voice asked me what the heck am i doing all this time alone in ljubljana? Ihave three weeks off and if i think i will just stay in ljubljana in this whole for all three weeks?
like a little girl i started explaining what i am doing here. he wasnt happy with my answer at all and for the third time he changed his mood and just said: ok lets talk some other time. good bye.
and so he cancled the call.
and so now i am left with guilt trip.
my head is telling me: you are doing it wrong!!!!
Am I really doing it wrong?
what am I doing wrong?
I know I should go into my feelings now, but my body is dead, i cant feel anything, so i just pushed my emotions inside and letting the voice in my head preaching "you are doing it wrong!! you are all wrong!!"
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